Paste your page's URL. Get a score out of 10, three jokes that are actually about your page, and the one fix worth making.
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How it works
1
Paste your link
Or drop a screenshot of the top of your page. Add one line about the product if you want sharper jokes.
2
Get roasted
A score, a verdict and three lines that point at real things on your page. No generic "your main button is weak".
3
Fix it, share it
Each roast comes with the one fix worth doing today, and a card made for posting.
Recent victims (real homepages, quick roasts by the same roaster you get, 2 Nov 2026)
openai.com OpenAI's company homepage, fronted by a ChatGPT-style prompt box
6/10Medium
A homepage that answers 'what is this?' with 'you tell me.'
'What can I help with?' is a homepage asking the visitor to explain why they came.
About 200 pixels of white sit above the headline, then a cookie bar eats the planet below.
Six nav links, two buttons, five chips, and the last chip is 'More', in case that wasn't enough.
The one fix Add one plain line under 'What can I help with?' that says what OpenAI makes, for example 'OpenAI builds ChatGPT and the AI models behind it.' Cut the empty space above the headline so the prompt box and the first product image sit fully above the cookie bar.
anthropic.com AI research company homepage for Anthropic, maker of Claude
5/10Medium
A mission statement with a mood board, and the product is in the nav.
The headline promises 'products' but never names Claude, which only shows up in a nav dropdown.
The demo's spot is held by dozens of collage tiles: puzzle pieces, a compass, a tree, a mallet.
The only way to act is 'Try Claude', a pill in the nav that opens a dropdown instead of a door.
The one fix Add one primary button directly under the headline, such as 'Try Claude', with a single line saying what Claude does for the visitor. Then swap the top row of collage tiles for a real screenshot of Claude in use.
x.com sign-up and login page for the X social network
5/10Medium
Says 'Happening now.' Shows nothing happening. Asks for your phone.
'Happening now.' promises live events, then shows a login form and nothing at all happening.
Half the screen is one giant X logo, the QR card clipping its corner like a parking ticket.
Four buttons say 'Continue' and none says what you continue into, or whether you're signing up.
The one fix Swap the oversized X logo for a live, logged-out preview of three trending posts so 'Happening now.' is actually shown. Then split the form into a clear 'Create account' button and a smaller 'Log in' link instead of four identical 'Continue' buttons.
What the full roast looks like (tesla.com, the paid tier, unedited, 2 Nov 2026)
tesla.com Tesla homepage with a Roadster reservation carousel hero
4/10Scorched
A dream-car hero, politely blocked by two pop-ups and a cookie.
A location box chews the end off the wordmark, so the flagship car's name arrives as 'ROADSTE'.
'Reserve Now' with no price, date or single spec beside it asks for faith, not a decision.
Under the 'ROADSTER' title, the biggest vehicle on stage is a Semi truck parked front and center.
The one fix Auto-detect the region and drop the location modal, and shrink the cookie notice to a slim bottom bar that doesn't cover 'Full Self-Driving'. Then add one line under the Roadster wordmark with the facts behind 'Reserve Now', such as price, deposit and delivery timing.
The 5-second test
I think it's Tesla showing off a new car called the Road-something, because a pop-up is sitting on the last letter. There's a truck and some cars in smoke too. Before I click anything I have to pick between the United States and Singapore, then decide on cookies. If I get through that, I'd probably click 'Reserve Now' out of curiosity, with no idea what I'm reserving or what it costs.
What I think you sell
Electric cars, a truck, and a new Roadster
Who I think it's for
EV shoppers and Tesla fans who already know the lineup
Read the rest: 5 scored areas, the top 5 fixes and 9 rewrites
The same .zip a paid roast gives you: the share card, roast.md, fix.md (one prompt that hands every fix to your coding agent) and the screenshot we roasted. tesla.com showed our phone browser a blank page, so this one has no mobile section.
Quick roast, or the full teardown
Quick roast
$1 one time, per roast
Score out of 10 and a one-line verdict
Three roast lines, each about a real thing on your page
The one fix worth making
Shareable card and link
Full roast
$4 one time, quick roast included
The 5-second test: what a stranger takes away
Headline, call to action, design, trust and copy, each scored
Mobile review on a phone-sized screen
Top 5 fixes in priority order
3 rewritten headlines, subheadlines and buttons
A ready-to-paste prompt that hands every fix to your coding agent
Already have a quick roast? Unlock the full roast for $3. Prices include tax.
Questions
Do you keep my screenshot?
No. Your browser resizes it, our server passes it to the model once to write the roast, and it's gone. We keep the roast text so your share link works, for as long as your account exists, and nothing else about your upload.
What if the roast fails?
You get that payment back automatically, in full. If something else went wrong, email support@roastometer.com.
Is the roast mean?
It's about the page, never about you. No jokes about the person behind it, no slurs, nothing below the belt. Savage about the big headline at the top of your page is the whole idea.
Who can see my roast?
Anyone with the link. Roast links are unlisted rather than secret, so don't share one if you wouldn't share the page.
What do you do with long pages?
We read the top of the page, the part visitors see first. A screenshot of the first screen or two works best. Add a phone screenshot with the full roast and we'll review mobile too.
What about private screenshots?
Only upload public pages. If an image looks like a private chat, an ID, a document or an app behind a login, the roaster politely declines.
Which AI writes the roast?
Claude, from Anthropic, through its API. Your screenshot is sent there to write the roast and is not sent anywhere else.
